Dear friend,

i was once told that writing is the greatest way of getting your feelings out. i write this here because i'm not ready for you to see this but i need to get it out. i don't mean this to be bitter but it's what i feel and i believe that it needs to come out once and for all. you have hurt me way to much. i love you so i cover it up with excuse after excuse but you have hurt me bad. you think that you can thrash my life to please your own self and say sorry so it will be okay. it's not. i want to be around you. i want to love you. i want it to be how it was. it never will be though. it might get better but there will always be that wall between us. there are days i want to just fall into your arms and have you say it was a mistake and you take it all back and that you will always be there for me, from now on. there are days that i want nothing to do with you, i see how you have hurt me and everyone around me and that is enough for me to want nothing to do with you. but i know i don't want nothing to do with you, it's just weird now. i want it to not be weird. i want it to be normal. i want us to have a normal relationship. it's only a dream though. you will never be truly sorry about what you have done so i think i will always have anger towards you. but maybe, with God, it will change.