summer!

 so i listening to rascal flatts in the car today and had a flashback to the day before summer started when i was listening to the song and i had so many plans for the summer and was so excited because i was going to do so many different things and i had a list of things i wanted to do. to me if i finished the list that would mean i had a good eventful summer. well out of a list of thirty things i completed eight things and they were the more broad things. out of those eight things two of them are in my list of highlights of the summer. it's funny how i tried to plan what i thought a good summer would be. i had one of, if not the best summers ever. i learned how to be spontaneous and i learned how to be happy with who i am. and at the end i'm a happier person now than when the summer started. it's pretty great how God works like that. he puts me in the weirdest situations and gives me the best of friends to get through it. that's pretty much my summer in a summary. well kind of...

distance can't break true friendship

one of my friends wrote this quote on my wall after she and i had a conversation about how i'm really bummed about how so many of my good friends are starting to leave for college, to start the rest of their lives. me, being the debbie downer i am, was telling her how i will never be as good of friends with this people again. as soon as they get in their cars and leave for college our friendships will go down hill from there. i was telling her how it's not necessarily a bad thing because i know God has a plan for everything and i am friends with these people for a reason. i told this friend how i can specifically tell you why one of the people leaving for college is my friend. in all reality if it weren't for this person i would be a complete wreck and that's why i know God has a plan. i pretty much was preparing myself for the worst, which i am pretty sure the worst is going to come concerning these friendships. but then when i got this quote i became hopeful. i have something to hope for. now part of me now believes that distance really can't break true friendship. it's the first hope i've had in a while concerning this matter. i'm still really sad about everyone leaving, but i now have hope that i won't lose my friends. and hope is what need.

it has to come to an end sometime

so i was thinking the other day about how many things that won't happen anymore once this month is over, or even this year is over. like i won't have anymore family outings with my pretend family, in two months i'll never live in the same city as a lot of the people i'm friends with, this is my last year i'll do church trips with molly. it's just so weird to me how we let things that are so amazing slip through our hands. i was trying to figure out why all these great things that have happened to me is stopping or leaving. then i realized that if things never ended we wouldn't be able to appreciate then. if things didn't go away we wouldn't take time to acknowledge their greatness and the joy their bring to us. so even though i hate how it feels like life is going so fast that i feel that if i blink i will miss so much i know that if it didn't feel like that i wouldn't be able to care about things the way i do. anyways, i don't know if you understand where i was going with that but that was my thought of the day. 

peace <3

it could be stripped away..

so i was playing tennis today, trying to figure out why i'm still playing at this day. i started playing tennis when i was in first grade because i was jealous that my sister got to go to tennis every sunday and i didn't. most kids that i played with at that age are on to different things they love. God gave me this talent so i could worship him and i use it to show off. why do i waste such a thing like that. i could worship God every time i play but instead i use it to pride myself up. God could take this ability away from me any second with a blink of an eye and i take it for granite. i could get in a car crash and lose a limb. i could break my arm and it not heal right and never  be able to play again. God can let just about anything happen that would make me never be able to play tennis again. when i realized that i realized that i should be playing tennis to worship God and give him all the glory. i think if i start doing that i would be so much happier when i play because i then will know i am playing for the right reasons. i'm no longer playing to win, i'm not playing to get another valley championship. i am playing to worship God with the talent he gave me, because i can lose it at any second and i would have wasted an ability to show God's love through my actions on myself. 

wildwood debrief

ok, so i came home from wildwood like two days ago. okay it wasn't "like" two days ago. it was two days ago and i just wanted to write about my adventures with it. so when i was on my way up to the mountains i was kind of nervous because all of my memories of wildwood from the previous year was with people that weren't going to be there. but i went up there with the mindset that i was going to grow in my relationship with God and with friends. that's exactly what happened. on monday we had a persecution night where we had to go to an "underground" church and sneak there because if we go caught we would be "persecuted." i had gotten stopped once by the persecutors and they had asked some really tough questions. on the way back from the church we went to the night for worship i was talking to molly and we were saying how we couldn't really get into it and pretend it was real. but on the way back i was also going through what the guy had told me before he let me go. it made me really want to learn the bible and research it like we do on library day.  the next couple days in solo time i was working on that. not just reading the bible but understanding it and taking something out of everytime i read in it. then thursday came along and God just revealed himself to me in so many ways. first in solo time i was feeling really down and lost and i had prayed about it and then like seconds after i had said amen katie j started singing a song about if you feel lost just turn to God and he will find you. then at the ropes course that day, well during debried of the ropes course, mallory, our pawn, talked about how on the plank she would start off touching us and guiding us through it but as we got farther along and faster she would lift her hands from our backs but she was going there if we would slip even though we couldn't feel her. that was probably the best analogy i heard that week. then finally when we went to ponderosa, i loved talking to the girls and helping them out and thier look on their faces when we wanted to pray for them. i knew for a fact that God is with us and speaks through us. that was probably the best part of the week.

now this is where we talk about my friend relationships that i built. pretty much relationships are being built left and right. i really think i got closer to every one that went which was really fun. i don't really know how to say how amazing the relationships became. but all in all it was an incredible week and it was all because of GOD.