mexico

oh my oh my oh my! thinking about that trip puts chills down my back, in a good way. when i got there i hoped for two things: that i would find God and to put more on the table. i rode up there scared. i was afraid i would dwell on the memories from the previous year, that i would lose sight of the goal, that i wouldn't find what i was looking for. the first night we were challenged, to sell out and to bring it home. that's what i wanted to do, well at least the sell out part. so the first day of building, that's what i did. i sold out, i tried my hardest. but it was at the end of the day when we were about to go back to the hotel that made me smile. Gabriella came up to me and we talked a little bit. i tried to teach her how to count to five. we didn't get very far before we had to leave. the next day this little angel brightened my day every time i saw her smile. she had hope in her eyes and smile. that night is when i was broken. i told molly and laura something that i didn't even want to admit to myself. i didn't want it to be true. it was the best thing that could have happened. the next night was what really hit me. everything that had been missing was right in front of me. this night i earned a new friend that i will keep forever. i realize that God will never leave me. he is an awesome God. on the final day i spent most of the day hanging out with Gabriella. she was the most amazing thing in the world. she had nothing but could give the world. then when we were getting ready to leave she ran up to me in tears not wanting to leave. that was when i lost it. i don't know how i could love someone so much that i can hardly communicate with. but it was cute in a way, that was when she finally was able to count all the way to five by herself. i know God is looking out for her when i am here in bakersfield. he has his hand on her all the time. even if i don't ever see her again in this lifetime i will see her in heaven and that gives me hope. every time i look at a perfect blue sky i think of her and the joy in her. this little girl blessed me so much.