who i am

i sat there wednesday morning looking at my notebook, bible, and red pen. i sat there in a state of confusion. i sat there facing my biggest dream and worst nightmare. i sat there feeling as if i had lost. i just wanted to call it quits. so i went and i wrote down a prayer. i prayed for God to take control because i felt hopeless. i really wanted a sign that everything would be okay, i really wanted the person who inspired this dream. i wanted her there to just make me feel like i would be okay, to bad that i was two hours away from anywhere she would currently be. well to bad that God doesn't believe in impossible, half way through the day she comes walking down the beach to where we were staying. it was just enough. just the miracle i needed. shes the one person that can make me believe that it is possible to not screw this whole thing up. the funny thing is, we didn't even talk about how i was struggling, we just had fun.
now you would think i would take that situation and be okay, but no i make things too complicated for that. that night we went to a youth group called "reality" and it was a prayer night. so during the worship i just laid down my worries and concerns to God. something happened later that night. for the first time in my life i'm satisfied. i know that God has a purpose for everything but for the first time i have hope in that. i am where i am in life for a reason. i am facing this dream/nightmare for a reason. i made an amazing friend because God has a plan. i have the family i have because God has a plan. i am this age for a purpose. i am here right now for a purpose. i am who i am because God is good.